A sad sad song

I've sung this song rather well

External Services:
  • lost_ndelerious@livejournal.com
  • rastasmurff822

A little about me...

I am me... me is woe. I am just simply me...

Right now, I am living in Dunellen, with my boyfriend Andrew and his parents. I no longer live in Keansburg. A lot of life changes have been dealt in the last 3 months... a lot for the better. I am rather content right now. If only the panic attacks would go away; I suffer from the worst form of illness (the worst in my mind at least)... panic disorder (AnxietyPanicAttack.com). It fucks with your mind AND body. You know that adrenaline rush you get before an attack or a stressful situation... heart pounding out of nowhere, dizzy, etc... well that comes out of nowhere for me and has trouble going away. Out of all the people that do have it and don't have it, I always ask... why me? It has interfered in so many things throughout my life. I'm ready for it to go away already. Enough on that.

Sports I enjoy are snowboarding, surfing, skateboarding, and doing all sorts of crazy sports that most girls would simply turn their heads and shake in disgust. I surf every chance I get - usually when the sun is starting to go down or on my days off. I check surf reports constantly throughout the day... what a loser hah!

I tend to wear mostly black, with the exception of some of my surf clothes and jeans.
My idol is Marilyn Manson... has been for the longest time. I mean, come on, who the hell had it harder than him. I also relate to Jonathan Davis of KoRn. What shit we've gone through, my friend.

I am mostly into MUSIC. Rap is crap though (Can't spell CRAP without 'rap.')
I like making ART of course. I like road trips and thinking bad thoughts (hehehe) and I try to stay away from anything sharp. I get lost in my paintings and my art. When I get sad or feel lost, this is what I purposely get lost in to ease everything else, or at least mask it. I also write... it pretty much has the same affect. I like writing gothic style poetry.

Cut the skin to the bone, fall asleep all alone, hear your voice in the dark, loose myself in your eyes, choke my voice, say goodnight, as the world falls apart.